I am an anti-monarchist, but I am also not squarely Team Harry and Meghan. I have a ton of sympathy for Meghan Markle, though, who does not deserve any of the racist abuse that has been hurled her way since she began dating Prince Harry. But I think that Harry and Meghan should ditch their Duke and Duchess titles if they are serious about the damage the Royal Family has caused them (It actually would make a difference, Harry). Still, I knew since the day it was announced that Harry would be publishing a memoir that I was going to read it because I am curious about what it was like for Harry to grow up in the Royal Family and because I wanted to know what happened behind the scenes to make him and Meghan relocate their lives to North America. Spare, it turns out, is a fascinating memoir about a toxic family.

If you dislike short sentences and paragraphs, you are going to be annoyed by Spare. I have already seen one article on The Guardian mocking Spare’swriting style. Spare reads like Harry and his ghostwriter (J.R. Moehringer) were hanging out and shooting the shit while Harry told him whatever memories popped into his head. The book opens on Princess Diana’s death because her death was so traumatic for Harry, and he suppressed his feelings over her death, that he could not remember much of his early childhood. It was not until he started seeing a therapist in his 30s that he began to remember what it was like growing up with Diana.

In Harry’s memoir, the Royal Family, which really does need to modernize if it wants to survive (I hope it doesn’t), comes across as your typical, stuffy aristocratic family that bottles everything in until it inevitably implodes. Most of the affection Harry received as a child came from his mother. It really does make you wonder how different Harry and William would be today if Diana had not died when she did. The Royal Family, on the other hand, does not show much in the way of affection (they don’t even hug!). There were moments when the former Prince Charles would tell Harry that he was proud of him, but at the same time, according to Harry, Charles and Camilla were peddling stories about Harry and William to the press to make themselves look better. William comes off as a spoiled wanker with anger issues (which actually does not surprise me). He could benefit from some therapy himself. Most disappointing, though, is that Kate seems to be a snob without a sense of humour. Take a chill pill, Kate.

But Harry directs all his vitriol towards the press and the paparazzi, and he blames the press for all his family’s issues. Certainly, the press and the paparazzi have played their role in the Royal Family pitting themselves against each other, in Princess Diana’s death, in the mistreatment of Meghan, and in squeezing Harry and Meghan out of the Royal Family, but it is disappointing that Harry does not seem willing to completely commit to the toxic family narrative that he has made public to the world. Harry still says that he supports the monarchy, and I wonder how his wife really feels like that. After claiming that his relationship with Meghan has helped him to recognize his own unconscious bias, how can he still support an institution that is symbolic of the oppression of Black and Brown people? How can he still support the family who have failed to support his own wife and children, and who, through their silence, have made themselves complicit in racism?

The racist press, the racist and sycophantic royalists and just racist people in general have been screaming their heads off over Spare and calling Harry and Meghan liars. But why are they the liars? Why is the Royal Family not full of liars? Is it because the Royal Family is white and privileged and sets itself above the rest of us? Being white and privileged is not synonymous with being truthful or a good person.

Spare is not going to change the minds of those who are dead set against Harry and Meghan, but it does shine a light on how out of touch the Royal Family really is. The monarchy should have died with Queen Elizabeth II.